its so strange, i think, how God works.

in the mist of all the chaos, it's hard to find God. at least for me.

but when i'm tired and driving back from Music Man, and listening to lalala love song, wondering how church people live the way they live without being drained or dying from hypocrisy, it hits me.

God hits me. slap in the face.

He provides me with everything i need. allow me to explain.

its hard for me to "connect with God".... its hard for me to set aside my busy schedule full of dumb things to sit down and talk to God. sad, i know. 

i have classclassclass lunchLUNCH dinner HOMEWORK gOSSIPgURLsamantha wHO?sleeP manfRIEND friendsfriendsfamily sister shOPPIng tetris......

where does God fit in.

&then i realize, just like pastor arnold said, there's a time and place for everything. just like God allowed for the roman empire to reign, so that the israelites would have a clear set path to evangelize to the world, so is my life set that all experiences somehow allow me to understand a tiny bit more how God loves me.

i am constantly wondering wondering WHY WONT HE CALL ME &i'm alwaysALWAYS wanting to see/talk to him. it's constant, always on my mind, never leaves.

&then, it clicks. as if all the pieces have been floating around, and God's fingers place then in order, and the last piece is placed, and the whole idea is set in motion.

i want his attention because im in a relationship. 

in the same manner, must i not strive to seek God's attention? am i not his bride?

corny, but true.

it clicked so much better in the car, haha.

im so tired of trying to do things on my own. 

its hard to trust that He'll do it for you

but God is AMAZING

AMAZINGAMAZING

like, my heart is about to burst amazing

i hope God craves my attention that much....

what a weird little post this is